We continue our series of Aspec Voices for Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week. Once again, we are focusing on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the aro community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream alloromantic people talking about orientations and even hidden within aro communities.
Our society is set up to prioritize romantic relationships and often marginalizes people who are permanently single or non-partnering. Since there are many aromantic people who identify as single or non-partnering, we wanted to hear from them about how this impacts their lives and experiences within aro communities.
Introductions
Alyssa G. – I’m aromantic and asexual (hetero-oriented), and single
My name is Ally Ravago and I’m aromantic asexual. I’m single.
August – aromantic, non-partnering
Bào dú shēn – Legally and socially single aroallo. No dates, no relationships, no partners. Life goals include living single and dying single, and I’m kicking ass so far.
Ben – single/non-partnering aro
Chio – greyromantic, single
Chris – single/non-partnering aro
Chris Thompson – Single/non-partnering aro
Few – Single/non-partnering aromantic
Ky – Single/non-partnering aro
Lia – Aromantic, asexual, agender. I am divorced and single since 2009 and I’m not looking for a partner
Liam (xe/they/soft) – I’m aromantic demisexual. I’m single (no romantic or queerplatonic partners)
Mari – Greyromantic, single/nonpartnering
Pallas – Aromantic. I also feel connected to the asexual spectrum, but I haven’t found a label under that umbrella that I’m comfortable with. I identify as romance-averse, so most of the time watching/reading romance doesn’t bother too much, aside from a slight discomfort if it becomes too much. But when it comes to myself, even the idea of a QPR is viscerally uncomfortable to me.
Sharai – I’m a 20 year old Afro-Caribbean woman who is Bahamian and Jamaican. I’m aroace, cupioromantic, and romance ambivalent.
V – I’m aromantic asexual. I’m single and for me, non-partnering is about accepting myself as a person on my own without needing another person to make me “whole”
Interview Questions
How does being single/non-partnering intersect with your aro identity?
AG: For me, being in a relationship would have to be in a romantic context. While I am romance-favorable, I don’t feel romantic attraction and therefore don’t feel a pressing need to be in a relationship at this time. As such, I am single.
Being single is the subject of much aro culture, so I am able to relate. Alloromantic single people, on the other hand, often bemoan being single, and I’m not able to connect with their romance-related struggles.
AR: I choose to live my life single because of my aromanticism. But I don’t mean it in a bad way. I’ve always preferred to be single forever, then I encountered aromanticism and I felt like everything started making sense for me.
August: I wouldn’t be non-partnering if I wasn’t aromantic, they’re inseparable.
BDS: Realising that I didn’t want to be in romantic relationships was what gave me the space to realise my aromantic identity. Obviously, aros have a variety of attitudes regarding whether or not they want to partner up, but for me, not wanting a relationship is a cornerstone of being aromantic. There’s some other reasons mixed in too, though – like being a relationship anarchist and not wanting anyone to think themselves entitled to me, being close to me, my time and attention on demand, or authority over my life or other interpersonal relationships in any way.
Ben: Being single intersects with my aro identity in that there’s a reason why I never felt the need to find a partner, and that I am content with being single and that there’s nothing wrong with me. There is also the stigma of being aromantic and not wanting a partner because we ‘can’t love’. But I show my love in different ways, and none of it will ever be romantic. It will be full of care and consideration.
Chio: Sometimes it’s hard to find a partner that understands my aro identity and thus why I´ve been single for quite some time
Chris: I find in some ways it validates it and at times it contradicts it as sometimes I think I do want relationships and at times it feels like being aro greatly complicates things.
CT: It kind of just feels like the natural state to be in, like I can do what I want and have it not affect or interfere with anyone else’s life or plans.
Few: Because I’m aro, I don’t see the need for a romantic relationship, and would rather be open with my closest friends instead of one single person.
Ky: It’s complicated. I’m often more happy being single, and I realistically plan my life according to that. That being said, it feels like a lonely thing to be condemned to because of our romance obsessed culture, media, etc.
Lia: I am much happier single than I ever was with a partner. I finally feel free to be myself and not trying to be something I am not to please someone else.
Liam: I feel comfortable being single, and it’s easier since I identify as aromantic to just say I don’t want to date than to explain (to allo people) I’m interested in poly queer platonic relationships.
Mari: My aro identity is probably why I’m single. It helped me realize that many people are partnered because of society’s expectations, and not because that’s what they want. I was able to analyze the fact more objectively due to my lack of romantic attraction. And it was easier for me to understand that I really didn’t want that.
Pallas: I always feel like I’m living the aro stereotype; no partner, no desire to have one, discomfort at romantic displays, etc. I feel like I perhaps have it easier than partnered aros because I don’t have to deal with the questions or confusion around it, and I have nothing but sympathy for aros who have to put up with people who refuse to accept and understand.
Sharai: Experiencing no romantic attraction definitely lowers my chances of entering a romantic relationship although I identify as cupioromantic. Second, I’m romance-ambivalent. It means that I fluctuate between being romance-favorable, romance-indifferent, romance-averse, and romance-repulsed. However, I’m either romance-indifferent or romance-averse most of the time. As a result, I prefer singlehood and de-prioritize romance although it would be nice to have a romantic relationship in the future. While I’m aware of non-romantic partnerships such as queer platonic relationships, it’s not a feasible option for me right now.
V: I think being non-partnering is very specifically because I’m aromantic. When I just knew I was asexual but thought I had romantic attraction, I was still trying to date people and getting hurt in the process. Being aro is almost like the permission I needed to let myself be single
How is your experience in aro communities impacted by being single/non-partnering or your experience with other single/non-partnering people impacted by your aromanticism?
AR: Aro communities make me feel valid as a person who is single by choice.
August: I think there is partially an expectation within the aro community, both by those outside and those within, to have a platonic or queerplatonic partner and it almost places me closer to the outskirts due to not desiring that.
BDS: It’s really alienating when people say or imply that aros have qpps/qprs in place of following the expected life script of being in a romantic relationship. First of all, qpps/qprs aren’t “romance lite.” They are not a rung in amatonormative relationship hierarchy. They are not a replication of amatonormative ideals. They intentionally exist outside the binary societal dichotomy of romantic vs. platonic, and people of any orientation can choose to forge a dynamic like that. Second of all, stop reifying the amatonormative expectation that everyone has to have or want a central committed relationship.
Ben: I think my experience in aro communities, while being very little, have been decent in my desire to be single. There are many other aros who are single and wish to remain single, so I do not feel pressured into getting into relationships just to feel ‘normal’.
Chio: Sometimes other single/ non-partnering people think there is a straight relationship between being single and aromanticism and I have to explain that they are not necessarily linked but it’s hard sometimes to be like a living encyclopedia and explain everything about the aro spectrum.
Chris: Personally I use it as a platform to share any QPR or non romantic partnering content I can to any of my ace pages I moderate.
Ky: I’d say it’s the norm. What few aro people I know it’s normal for us to be single.
Liam: I am part of the majority of aromantic people who are non-partnering/single, so I have a good experience and feel represented in aro spaces.
Mari: Most aro people I know are single, so they get me. I think most single people I know are also aro…… alloro people I know are mostly partnered, also because of my age (30+).
Pallas: Once, a friend of mine learned that some aros choose to partner platonically, (QPR). At the time, this friend had a crush on me, and misinterpreted the “some aros” to “all aros”, and asked me to be their partner. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done to let them down and explain the difference. I feel friendships and familial love very strongly, and it was almost physically painful to disappoint my best friend.
Sharai: After discovering the aro community on Twitter in 2021, I felt completely seen and understood. It is a joy to know that I’m not the only person who naturally de-prioritizes romance and takes pride in preferring singlehood. Connecting with the aro community encourages me to embrace and take pride in my aromanticism more than ever before. I’ve also been inspired to tweet publicly and raise awareness about aromanticism more often.
V: I think to make up for previous pushback against aros that date, the aromantic community focuses a bit too much on aros who do date now and aros who have qpps or other alternate relationships.
I actually feel more pressure from within the aro community to keep dating people than outside of it. I feel the way people make us seem more appealing to allos is to say “oh but we can still date”, and then it’s really difficult to make people understand that no, I do NOT date. Because before I could say yeah I don’t date because I’m aromantic, but now people are like well maybe you’ll still find someone, I heard aros can still date you know.
And this isn’t entirely the aro community’s fault but I think we need to stop focusing on how “we can still date!” and start focusing on how every aro has a personal relationship with romance and relationships, and you should listen to specific people on whether they say they want to date or not.
How could aro communities better support you?
AR: Aro communities could better support me by continuing to give diverse single aro people spaces to share their experiences and to continue promoting aromanticism and normalizing being single.
August: In recent years there’s been a shift to prioritizing partnering in aro communities, and while it’s good, there needs to be a better balance of inclusion to showcase the diversity of aromanticism; generally, include nonpartnering aros in your activism
BDS: Cut “aros can still love! Aros love platonically! Aros value their friends more highly because they’re not partnered! Aros can have qpps/qprs that are as centrally and deeply important as a romantic relationship!” and other respectability politics catchphrases out of your aro 101 repertoire. You’re hinging our “acceptance” on our striving to emulate the monogamous couple form as closely as possible. It throws anyone under the bus if they’re nonpartnering, loveless, aplatonic, or not enough of a social butterfly.
Chio: Maybe to open a discord or a forum where aros who are single can talk, find friends and talk about their experiences
Chris: They do great job as it is promoting QPRs and such.
Ky: There being more of us, us being louder.
Mari: Organizing events to create a local community of aro people, finding friends and support (as being single brings some challenges)
Pallas: I truly couldn’t say.
Sharai: While the aro community supports me well, it would be nice to have a private space online to discuss the joys and challenges of our personal aromantic experiences and offer each other emotional support and advice.
V: Aro communities could better support me by not focusing so much on how we can still date if we want to. It feels isolating to even in a community about lack of attraction, still hear constantly that I should be wanting to have a relationship based on an attraction type I don’t have. In trying to support aros who do date, you have gone to the other extreme and hurt aros who don’t.
What do you wish aro people knew about you or other single/non-partnering aros?
AR: I wish aro people knew that I’m fine with being single. I am not broken. Single aros have our reasons for being single and if it’s due to our aromanticism, that is perfectly acceptable.
BDS: Don’t buy into society’s myths about how miserable singlehood is! Fear of being single can influence many people to enter or stay in relationships that are not good for them. We are all harmed by amatonormativity and singlism.
Ben: I would like for other aros to know that I am personally content with being single forever, and am much happier after coming to terms with being aromantic. I feel no pressure, so far, to find a partner and I am able to love in smaller ways, be it caring for my pets, being there for my friends, or loving my family.
I want other aros to know that I’m grateful to know who I am now and that I am not broken. I love the positivity they can bring and how we can all share our experiences of how we learned we were aromantic.
Chio: I wish people would understand that being aro is not the main cause of why i´m single, i know it may seem like it in a world where the main focus of a relationship is in the romantic and sexual aspec (as it is shown in many tv shows and movies)
Chris: Sometimes we want to be in relationships but its not a constant need. For me it might be a week or so a year or really wanting a relationship but it quickly disappears.
Few: There can be a variety of reasons for why people don’t want a partner, mine happens to be that I’m AroAce.
Ky: I think they’re well aware of why fellow aros are single or non-partnering.
Mari: We’re happy as we are. And we can be great friends! But they already know since most aro people I know are single ahah
Pallas: That our two groups are equally aromantic, and that both can change and shift and flow. That one person could be non-partnering one year, and decide they want a QPR the next.
Sharai: That some of us actually prefer and delight in singlehood while embracing our desires for a romantic or non-romantic partnership simultaneously. Also, not every aro wants a QPR and it’s not a feasible option for some of us that do.
V: It’s ok to not want a romantic partner or a qpp or an alterous relationship etc etc. I am still whole and worthy without any of those things. Stop suggesting them to me Please.
What do you wish allo people knew about you or other single/non-partnering aros?
AG: I wish allo people knew that being single is perfectly okay, no matter your orientation. That being said, aromantic people can be in relationships if they so choose, and those relationships are just as fulfilling as alloromantics’ relationships.
AR: I wish allo people knew that I’m single because I want to be, not because I’m scared that no one’s going to romantically love me or that I’m afraid to romantically love another person. I wish they knew that being a single aro is valid and that it should be normalized.
August: I wish alloromantics knew that just because I’m non-partnering doesn’t mean I’m lonely. My found family, my friends, my pets, and even myself fill me and my time; I may be “more alone,” but I’m not lonely.
BDS: Social needs can be filled in a variety of ways, and they can also differ from person to person. Partnering isn’t a special or superior source of care. It doesn’t need to be substituted with anything, whether by having lots of close friends or a “best friend” or being very close with family or being deeply engaged and active in our communities or having lots of cats or anything else. We don’t need to assign societally-recognised hierarchical labels to people to elevate them above all others in order to care about them or value our interpersonal relationships. Abolish relationship hierarchy.
And remember, marriage rights don’t give us equality.
Ben: I would like for allo people to understand that single or non-partnering aros may not desire a partner, or even need one. That allos hold no business in worrying about others lack of partnership, and that non-partnered or single aros are not ‘cold’ or ‘heartless’ or ‘missing out’ for not wanting or having a partner.
Chio: See above.
Few: We are no less human than you, and as before there are many reasons why people may not want a partner.
Ky: That there’s nothing wrong with being single, and that romantic love isn’t the only way to be happy. It’s not the only thing that makes us human.
Lea: I’m not unhappy or lonely. Life is harder single (mostly for financial reasons) but I don’t need a partner to make me happy.
Mari: If we say “I’m single and happy” we mean it, we’re not saying “I’m lonely please find me a partner” in a secret code language…
I’d like to tell them that I would like to live together with my best friend, both of us having their own room and sharing bathroom and communal areas… but many times they laugh at this, or think what I actually want is a romantic relationship.
Pallas: That we’re not the only aros out there. Also, that we have feelings, big feelings, and that we aren’t cold or distant. Non-partnering doesn’t equal non-loving.
Sharai: First, we exist. Second, some of us are single simply because we want to be single and it makes us happy. Happiness is not dependent on a partner. Also, there are some of us who want partners and it doesn’t necessarily make us dissatisfied with singlehood.
V: Stop posting memes about specifically being gay / other forms of queer in the aromantic tag to gain more likes. Do you know how annoying it is to be aromantic and not want a partner and half the aro tag on insta is people making memes about how they’re attracted to [gender] and how they’re sad they don’t have a partner of [gender] Also please listen the first time when we say we don’t want a partner. no you cannot fix me, no you cannot change my mind.
What do you see as the top societal and/or structural barriers to living a nonpartnered life?
AG: Some of the top structural barriers to living a non-partnered life are the added living expenses and reduced government benefits. Finances can especially be a problem if a single person has children. Socially, single people are often seen as having unfulfilling lives.
AR: For me, money is the top societal barrier to living a nonpartnered life. Everything is so costly. The world is not financially built for single people.
August: Cost is a huge barrier. Everything is expected to be shared with a partner, so everything is priced for partners. And though roommates are possible, it’s hard to do long term or into older adulthood because everyone else is partnered.
BDS: Singlehood forfeits a lot of legal and financial benefits, which harms not only us but also the important interpersonal relationships in our lives. There are over a thousand US federal laws privileging married people. Society is structured and priced for married couples. The US government spends billions on marriage promotion. On top of all that, having a committed monogamous romantic relationship at the centre of our lives is socially seen as a hallmark of maturity, morality, and success.
Ben: The barriers to living a non-partnered life would be less media representation. A lot of stigma that is directed towards single people, and the focus on their love life by strangers or family. As well as being put into relationships or being sought after even when they tell people they wish to remain single.
Chio: The belief that if you haven´t found a partner at a certain age or if you are single “you´ve failed, you can´t live your life at its fullest” .Our society is so focused in the idolization of romantic partners and romance stories that if you don’t have one, people immediately think: ” oh you poor thing”
Chris: People’s ignorance. I’ve copped my share of aro and ace phobic shit from people that don’t know I’m aroace. If only we could further educate people or had higher visibility in media. It would be amazing to have a Bojack Horseman level of aro representation.
CT: Just a general perception that the lifestyle you are living is not the default, therefore any time it comes up it generally requires a ton of explaining.
Few: People always questioning why you haven’t got a partner yet, as well it being more work to afford things like a house, because it’s only you working, not two people.
Ky: Financially it feels impossible to live without a partner in most cities. It’s very built into societal structure that you need a romantic partner to stay on top of finances, housework, and even to potentially take care of children. I can only hope that structures shift and change in a way that makes it possible for me to foster children by the time I’m ready without a romantic partner.
Lia: Society has a general belief that people are looking for a partner if they don’t have one, this is a quiet undertone in everything from music to movies and it’s often pushed on us from everyone around us. Financially, we live in a two-income society and it’s much harder to manage alone.
Mari: Living alone is too expensive. There are not many living solutions designed to target people who prefer to stay single (if I lived in the 1800s I’d live in a queer boarding house). Also, due to the media we’re treated as if we were perpetually sad and lonely. We’re seen as bad people that can’t commit to a “real” relationship. We don’t receive the support we need. We’re often forgotten or seen as having just a “phase”.
Pallas: The other night, I was watching a movie with friends, and at the end when the two love interests got together, I was hit, (not for the first time), by this realization that I wouldn’t have that. And though that’s never interested me, and I’ve never really wanted it, it was still such a heavy sadness of realizing that my friends would all get someone that they loved more than me, because society tells me I should want it.
Sharai: We’re faced with a high cost of living. It’s definitely not easy for single people to live on their own without a partner to help them to pay their expenses. This pressures some people to enter or stay in relationships that they don’t want simply because it’s much harder for them to live on their own. There is also couple privilege. It is more difficult for a single person to buy a house than a couple. Landlords also prefer to rent apartments to couples as opposed to singles. In addition, adoption centers would allow couples to adopt but rarely give single people that option.
V: It’s financially very difficult to live alone. Amatonormativity means everything is structured around married couples and living alone is expensive as fuck
How can society have more single positivity, both for people who are single by choice and for people who are single by happenstance? What are some ways you’d like to see single people treated more equitably?
AG: Society can have more single positivity through more media that shows single people staying single as part of their happily ever after, as well as offering more support and understanding of being single.
AR: I just want society to stop pitying people who are single. I want them to stop asking when we’re going to get married and to stop telling us that we’ll change our minds because we’ll get lonely. And I also want more stories in the media that promote single positivity.
August: Encouraging those that are single, both by choice and by circumstance, to enjoy their single status rather than seeing it as a lack of something; to stop seeing singleness as a lack of relationship and instead as its own opportunity.
BDS: Abolish the institution of marriage and thereby marital privilege. Marriage should not govern our rights or the ease of exercising them. It’s just a way to disprivilege single people and coerce more people into a detrimental patriarchal system. If I die (and that’s a big if), I want the people I care about to be able to claim survivor benefits for the money I paid into social security. I want community bonds to be valued in our court system instead of promoting “marital harmony.” I want to be able to use sick leave to take time off to care for my friends and vice versa.
We also need to remove exit barriers to relationships, whether legal, financial, or social. People shouldn’t have to couple up for survival, respectability, or social inclusion. Breakups should be seen as new beginnings, not personal failures.
Ben: Having more messages in media that romance or ‘love’ isn’t always the answer, and to teach other people/society that being single is okay, there’s nothing to be ashamed of for not wanting to be with someone, and that people should be left alone when it comes to whether they want to date or not.
I suppose having a holiday that isn’t solely focused on love, and it can be either before or after Valentine’s day. Another way is through more media that focuses less on romance that isn’t simply action or cartoons.
Chio: We should stop producing tv series and films where the only happy ending is where the main character gets their love interest at the end. We’ve been taught since we were little that fairytales only had a happy ending if the story had a charming prince who got together with the princess…we should start teaching our children that being single or alone is not a bad thing, that doesn’t mean you are a failure.
Chris: I’d love to see single people not depicted in media as poor lonely desperate losers. We live very enriched lives full of great companions and experiences. It would be great to hear more about single people’s happily single stories.
CT: Like I’d suggest stuff but that would require a massive rework of human civilization from the ground up. At the end of the day I think its just important to communicate that the standard relationship model is not the only way to live life.
Few: Less emphasis on things like Love and Romance, for example Valentine’s Day is literally a day for couples to show romantic love, there isn’t one for platonic love or anything
Ky: I honestly think we need more pieces of media where romance is not the happy ending. Showing people how many people live happy lives without romance is important. Showing others in their community with close friendships or queer platonic partners would make so many people feel less alone and broken.
Lia: I think there needs to be more understanding and acceptance of people being alone in general. There’s so much pressure to find a partner that even allos are pressured into relationships when they aren’t ready or with people they really shouldn’t be with. We need more representation like Moana, Elsa, Mirabel, and Captain Marvel to show the world that we don’t have to be partnered to be strong, happy, and fulfilled.
Liam: I wish the pressure to date wasn’t as strong, in family gatherings for exemple. I also wish single people were represented on TV more, characters who feel comfortable in being single and don’t end up dating someone at the end of the movie. I would love to see different types of relationships portrayed.
Mari: Stop showing only bad or sad examples of single people in the media. Show also the cool and happy and fulfilled ones, especially older accomplished single people of all gender.
Also, ASK single people what they need and create services for this demographic.
Pallas: Less shaming for sure. I’d love to see it just be treated as a normal thing. No concerned looks or offers to hook you up, just a fact, like hair color, or a persons name. Something that could change, but may not, and something that shouldn’t have to change.
Sharai: By realizing that happiness, fulfillment and success will look different for each and everyone of us whether we’re single or partnered. One should never rely on another person to complete them. At the end of the day, each person has to realize that they have to learn how to be content while single to truly thrive whether or not they plan to stay single, happen to stay single, or desire to find a partner. Also, singleness and loneliness are not synonymous. As long as you have friends, family and/or a community to support you, your social needs will be met. I wish that adoption centers would allow more and more single persons to adopt children and that single persons would have a more equitable chance of buying a house, taking a loan etc.
V: I think it being normalised to be single and happy about it would be good. Being single shouldn’t be seen as a transitional stage you’re in while you look for a partner. It should be something as normal about you as your hair colour. It’s there, it’s part of you, you can change it if you want to, but you definitely don’t have to. Not seeing having a partner as the goal of life and the thing that makes everyone happy would help too.
What would your ideal living space look like, and what would be your vision of a community that’s resilient to the societal pressures to assimilate into insular couple-units?
AG: My ideal living space would be a house large enough for myself, pets, and two kids near a good school district.
AR: My ideal living space would just be me surrounded by books. A few friends can live with me too because that would be really nice. I envision a society where romance is not preached as the most important thing in the world for an individual to attain and aromantics who are single can live their lives without being judged.
BDS: Communities that have shared socialising spaces and aren’t centred around nuclear families and/or childraising. Kind of like a college campus with lots of dorms, except where people have full, private apartment units. I’d like the convenience of being able to hang out casually while still living alone. I hear about co-housing arrangements sometimes, but they’re usually geared toward upper/middle class suburban homeowners with 1.9 kids. I can’t afford a big, fancy house, and suburban neighbourhoods like that are too white for me to do my grocery shopping. Also, I don’t want the seclusion of highly residential areas. If I go for seclusion, I don’t want neighbours within sight or hearing distance.
Ben: My ideal living space is a small apartment with a roommate. Said roommate and I equally contribute to bills and chores and are able to live peacefully with zero romantic or sexual feelings towards one another. Said apartment can have an office for myself with lots of fake plants because I need more green in my life.
A community that’s resilient to the societal pressures to assimilate into insular couple-units looks like a strong and well built tree house/club house. It’s got folks from all over gathering and talking about their experiences and sharing their interests. It’s a quiet and proud community that does its best to keep its head up with all the focus on romance that surrounds our world.
Chio: My ideal living space would be a tiny house or an apartment with big windows and very cozy, a place with enough space to read and to dance or do yoga, large enough for me and my expanding family of dogs and cats.
The vision I have of an ideal community is one in which a single parent or a person who wants to be a parent even though they don’t have a partner doesn’t get discriminated against, and they are fully accepted.
Chris: I love the idea of buying a cul-de-sac with all my friends living on the same street so we can hangout out and chill together. They all know I’m aro ace so it would be perfect.
CT: At the end of the day the dream is to have an independent partner that has her own separate life (and separate house) and is maybe a little polygamous (though I’d settle for monogamy if it was the right person). I genuinely think the world is going this way but I think the concept of unusual relationship models are becoming more prevalent. Would love a wee polycule.
Few: Either a flat by myself, nothing fancy, or like a shared house with friends, who could be single or partnered as they prefer. A community that is resilient wouldn’t emphasize relationships nearly as much as this society does.
Ky: I’d like to be able to live with a queer platonic partner, or as a single foster parent in a community of friends I can rely and can be part of my family’s life.
Liam: My ideal living space would be a house I can live in with friends/partners.
Mari: Ideal living space: live in an apartment block, each friend/couple having their own flat, and having meals and doing activities together. Helping each others when one is sick or when kids need babysitting.
Pallas: Some day, I’d like to live in a house or apartment with one or two close friends, and probably a couple of big fluffy dogs. I’d like to go restaurants and movies with friends and not worry about third wheeling or disrupting a date. Just hanging out and living without the pressures of an alloromantic life. It’s what I want for all non-partnering aros!
Sharai: It would be great to live in a community in which everyone celebrates each other whether or not they are single or partnered. Hopefully, most people will admit that it is simply better for some people to be single instead of seeing it as the Plan B option for everyone. I would love it if more parents encouraged their kids to embrace singleness as an excellent option instead of asking them when they want to have a partner or get married in the future.
V: I would like a big flat and me and my friends all live in different parts of the flat so we have our own living spaces but can easily go visit each other without hassle. It gives me space to be single and on my own, but doesn’t isolate me from people entirely. It should be way more normalised to live with your friends or live near your friends.