Asexuality in Aotearoa – The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project

by Dave

We all know about Stonewall and June pride, but what about Pride in February? Outside of the USA, lots of countries have our own rich histories of pride, and Aotearoa New Zealand is no exception!

Aotearoa’s very first Pride event, known as Gay Day, was held in the April of 1972. In Albert Park at the foot of Queen Victoria’s statue, feminist and lesbian activist Ngahuia Te Awekotuku (Te Arawa, Tūhoe, Waikato) spearheaded the protest. Together, the protestors brandished signs such as “Gay is good, gay is proud” and chanted “Will Victorian morality ever die?” This protest was the catalyst for New Zealand’s first Gay Liberation groups, which sprung up all over the country from 1972 onwards. Several decades on, we commemorate our history of pride every summer throughout the month of February.

1972 may have been the first time we had a Pride event, but rainbow people including asexuals, aromantics and aspec people have always existed here. In pre-colonial Aotearoa, Māori societies embraced diversity in sexualities and gender identities. In the modern day, we use the word takatāpui “as an umbrella term that embraces all Māori with diverse gender identities, sexualities, and sexual characteristics” (Kerekere, 2017).

The aspec community in Aotearoa, much like in other parts of the world, spent its formative years online. Asexuality Aotearoa New Zealand was the first organisation of its kind, and was run by Chris Coles (and a handful of others) from 2005 to 2009. The group also had a significant offline presence, doing interviews with the media about asexuality, putting up posters and sending pamphlets to health professionals, and meeting with government policy officers, as well as presenting at conferences. We reached out to Chris for comment, and here were his thoughts:

Interview with Chris

How do you currently identify?

Asexual, aromantic, cis-gendered, queer.

From my understanding, AANZ started around 2005 or so. How big was the asexual and aromantic community in Aotearoa in the pre-2010s?

Not very big at all. There were three people, including myself, who were actively involved in awareness raising, like interviews for radio and newspapers. There were others who occasionally turned up for social meetups in Wellington. From memory it was the US-based AVEN (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network) forums that were the place to go to interact with other asexuals.

How much of an offline presence did the community have at the time?

I think we had a dozen or so people who were interested in meeting up in real life but I think the biggest meeting we ever had [there were] 6 or 7 people attending. This was hugely disappointing to me as back in those early days I honestly thought we’d end up something akin to the gay community, with its own venues, bars, and community groups.

What sort of local community initiatives were going on in the early days?

We ran the meet-ups and worked on visibility. I’m sure you’ve seen our news page that was kept on the old AANZ website. It gives a pretty comprehensive list of what we did.

http://web.archive.org/web/20100525105426/http://www.asexuality.org.nz/news.htm

What would you say are the most important issues for Aotearoa asexuals and aromantics in 2022?

I think awareness and visibility are still really important issues for asexuals and aromantics. Not only so that asexuals and aromantics can find accurate and affirming information about their orientation, but so that non-asexuals and non-aromantics have a good grasp of what these labels actually mean. I’ve been an out asexual for over 20 years now, and often find myself avoiding coming out as asexual because I don’t want to have to dole out another ‘Asexuality 101’ lecture to the person I’m talking to.

I do also think having the opportunity to meet other asexuals IRL is important. Or at least it was for me. There are currently meetup groups in the Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch. However, as we discovered early on, there seems to be little appetite for meet-ups offline.

So a small community of Aotearoa aspecs was active mainly online back in the 2000s, but what about now? In the present day, the largest currently-active group for aspec people in Aotearoa (as of January 2022) is the Asexuals New Zealand Facebook group, created by Chelsea Thomson in 2014. We reached out to Chelsea, and here is what she had to say:

Interview with Chelsea

How do you currently identify (pronouns, orientation labels, any other labels you feel are relevant)?

I generally go by queer asexual (or just ‘queer’ if I’m in a hurry lol) and use She/Her and They/Them pronouns

The Asexuals New Zealand group started in 2014. What was it like being a member of the ace community back then?

We didn’t really Have a community back then (or at least, not an easily accessible one), which is why I started the group. I was sick of feeling like the odd one out. Asexuality was still a fairly new concept to a lot of people (even in the rainbow community) and we were facing some backlash because of it. When the FB group started to pick up it was amazing – I never could have imagined we’d get to where we are today!

How much of an offline presence does Asexuals New Zealand have?

Unfortunately with the way the world has been the last couple of years we haven’t had as many IRL catch ups due to COVID-19. As well as meet ups, we also have had presence at pride events (Auckland Pride Parade being the main one) and a couple of years ago I represented both Asexuals NZ and QCanterbury at a Human Rights Commission meeting, which was amazing to be a part of. We’re definitely more of an online group, but we do our best to get together and represent IRL when we can.

What would you say are the most important issues for Aotearoa asexuals, aromantics, and aspecs in 2022?

Education. It’s almost always education (for pretty much anyone in the rainbow community). Education is so, so important. An incredibly common experience among asexuals is not knowing that asexuality is even a thing, and then spending a good amount of your life feeling broken because your experiences regarding sex, desire, and even relationships simply doesn’t match what the world around you says it should be. If asexuality was part of a well thought out and compulsory sex education curriculum, a lot of asexuals wouldn’t have to go through that. But also – though the bigotry asexuals face often isn’t as loud or violent as bigotry others in the rainbow community face, we do still face it (and I say ‘often’ – examples of extreme backlash against asexuality do still happen, and horrifically “corrective rape” is an example of that). Education helps to shake the foundations of bigotry and hate. When you understand something, you’re less likely to be afraid of it or hate it. So yeah, education is probably the key issue, IMO. And actually not just at a high school level but all over – the medical industry could certainly do with some education, as a lot of the time asexuality is medicalised and portrayed as an illness, simply because many medical professionals aren’t aware of the difference between libido and attraction. You can get a little blue pill for your libido – there isn’t a “cure” for asexuality, just like there isn’t a “cure” for being gay, or straight, or whatever. And, more importantly – there isn’t a cure because there’s nothing Wrong.

The second key issue IMO is probably visibility – I can name the number of asexuals in media on one hand. We all know the representation matters, and the few times I have seen an asexual character in media have been amazing. These characters and their stories help to normalise asexuality not just for asexuals who might be struggling with their identity, but for those who are learning about it for the first time. It’s easier to understand and accept someone coming out as asexual if you’ve already seen Todd in Bojack Horseman do the same. It gives people a point of context.

It is worth acknowledging that despite our best efforts, we were unable to find any evidence for aromantic or aro-spectrum organizations here in Aotearoa (past or present). As of February 2022, aromantics in Aotearoa do have options for broader rainbow and to some degree aspec support, but nothing that is made by aros for aros.

In terms of asexual community, there are currently several informal groups such as Chelsea’s which offer an opportunity for socialisation and community support, but as both interviewees have pointed out, education and visibility have been and continue to be important priorities for aspec community leaders in Aotearoa – and for good reason! Anecdotally, many asexuals I meet in Aotearoa are reluctant to be openly ace; only being out to perhaps a handful of people they trust. Additionally, we (along with aromantics) still lack legal protections that other orientations are offered – for instance, in a 2021 amendment to the Human Rights Act banned discrimination based on sexual orientation, with the caveat that the ban would be for “sexual orientation, which means a heterosexual, homosexual, lesbian, or bisexual orientation.” (Human Rights Act 1933 No 82, Part 2, Section 21, Article 1(m)

Despite how far we have to go, we are here and we will continue to make ourselves known. As another Pride month comes to a close, we celebrate and uplift our aspec friends and whānau. We will continue to support our communities, and we will continue to educate our peers to bring about a brighter future for aspecs throughout Aotearoa.

A big thank you to Chris Coles and Chelsea Thomson for providing their thoughts!

Sources:

30 Years of Gay Liberation (Part 2), Pride NZ

http://www.pridenz.com/gaynz/57.html

Waitangi Day and Auckland Pride: An intertwined history of oppression, Richard Orjis

https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/30-01-2020/waitangi-day-and-auckland-pride-an-intertwined-history-of-oppression/

A history of pride in Aotearoa New Zealand, Will Hansen

https://www.tepapa.govt.nz/discover-collections/read-watch-play/history/lgbtqi-histories-aotearoa-new-zealand/history-pride

Ngahuia te Awekotuku, New Zealand History

https://nzhistory.govt.nz/media/video/ngahuia-te-awekotuku

Albert Park, Richard Orjis

https://richardorjis.com/2018/03/06/albert-park/