Category: Ace Community

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Ace Week 2021 – Demi and Gray Aces

Text: Demi and Gray Aces While the asexual community at large publicly embraces the idea of the asexual spectrum, this is not always supported by individuals and organizations in a way that is inclusive. - Elle Rose I wish more allos knew that we're still not allo, even if we do sometimes experience attraction. Our experience with attraction is still different in many ways than the allo experience. - Ashlee C [T]o myself, I’m simply me: somewhere in the liminal space between “sexual” and “Asexual”. Not knowing where I fit in, but at least, finally honest with myself. -Justin Picture: Graysexual flag
Text: Demi and Gray Aces I wish Allo people knew that our orientation isn’t something to debate or argue about because no one knows how another person feels and it’s not their place to tell you how things work in your life. Just listen and be considerate. - Kimberly Butler We’re as ace as you. We’re just experiencing it differently. We also belong here. - Elle Rose [The ace community] needs to stop clinging to the notion that asexuality is a clean, easily-defined binary of sexual attraction vs. no sexual attraction. - Justin Picture: Demisexual flag

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

Asexuality is often seen as a complete absence of sexual attraction, but it is a full spectrum; people in the gray area of the spectrum often go unheard, and we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

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Ace Week 2021 – Religious Aces

Text: Religious Aces It often feels like being caught in the middle. [...] In the past, I have had to keep things separate because neither side wants or understands the whole, real me. - Jenna DeWitt I practice solitary witchcraft, and in doing so I have full control of my own magics and whatnot. That did help me reclaim my sexuality as well! - Casper [W]e aren’t asexual because we’re religious, or vice versa. It also doesn’t make me a better Christian just because I’m asexual. - Lari Picture: A purple silhouette of someone kneeling in prayer or contemplation
Text: Religious Aces I feel a great deal of solidarity with other queer people of faith, because of the long-held perception that queerness and religious belief are usually mutually exclusive. - Justin I wish aces knew religious does not always mean aggressively dogmatic. - Joshua Godfrey It took me so long to even wonder if I was asexual because I was good at being chaste! I owe a lot of friends my apologies for thinking they were just bad at being Christian. - Aley O'Mara Picture: A book open with text

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

Religious asexual people exist, but are not usually heard from or seen, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

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Ace Week 2021 – Aces and Parenting

Text: Aces and Parenting It's stressful sometimes, because it's just me, and I always think about how it's always going to be just me and how that will affect my kid. -Ryder I wish aces and allosexual people alike wouldn't assume all aces are childfree, which sometimes seems to happen in certain ace spaces and also in society generally. - Emily Karp Our parenthood is also a portion of who we are, and one part of us does not negate the other. - Kelly Picture: A purple silhouette of an adult carrying one child and holding the hand of another
Text: Aces and Parenting So many aces raise children, co-parent, and are caregivers in different capacities…build community to learn from and with one another. - Jesi We are valid, we are moms and dads just like the rest of you. -Ashley I get “are you really ace because you have a kid” as often as I get “are you really biromantic because you married a man.” My truth doesn’t change. - Kelly Picture: A purple silhouette of two adults holding hands over two children

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

Asexual people who have children or want them aren’t heard from often, and many don’t have the resources or representation they deserve, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

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Ace Week 2021 – Aces and Sex or Kink

Text: Aces and Sex or Kink It stalled me identifying as ace because I have a kink. To this day, allos tell me I cannot be ace if I have a kink. It's infuriating. Who left them in charge of the gate? -Joshua Godfrey KINK IS NOT INHERENTLY SEXUAL. [...] The two can overlap - and in some forms of play explicitly do - but MUCH more often than not they do not, NOR DO THEY NEED TO. - Bob O'Boyle There are so many ways to be asexual, and gatekeeping and enforcing rigid definitions only harms the community. - Aley O'Mara Picture: The BDSM flag
Text: Aces and Sex or Kink Having a high libido was baffling to me for a long time because I confused sexual need with sexual attraction, so it took me a long time to realize they were separate things & sort them out. - Ashlee C. [Kink] made it hard for me to accept my own aceness, but now I think they are happily hand-in-hand! - Casper The biggest thing is that Aces can enjoy sex and kink and still be ace. It doesn’t make anyone less valid. Sexual arousal doesn’t equal sexual attraction. - Mik Picture: An unmade purple bed with a pair of gray leggings hanging off

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

Asexuality is often seen as incompatible with being kinky or wanting sex, and those aces who are kinky or sex favorable may feel out of place, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

Content warning: This article contains some discussion of and description of kinks, though no description of explicit sexual activity.

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Ace Week 2021 – Aces and Romance

Text: Aces and Romance I realized that my love is still valid and beautiful, even if it seems different from what people understand or experience. -Casper Since finding out that I’m ace, our relationship and communication is definitely better. - Anonymous I wish people understood that aces who date, like a number of people with other LGBTQ+ identities, often have a delayed experience with dating and sometimes are going through their first dating experiences in their late twenties or thirties or even older. - Emily Karp Picture: Two purple hearts
Text: Aces and Romance I wish that more ace people understood that I (and others) can both be at peace with their asexuality and still desire more for myself in a romantic relationship. - Sarah Finding more aces has made me feel valid in the way I approach relationships. Polyamory works well for me and plenty of other aces I know. - Mik I wish allos knew that there are people who want romantic relationships without the sexual part. - Eljay Picture: Three wedding bands interlinked

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

There are many asexual people who have or want romantic relationships, but those relationships are often seen as doomed, and asexuality is sometimes seen as impossible to reconcile with romance. We wanted to highlight the voices of aces who are in or want to be in romantic relationships. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

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Ace Week 2021 – Aces with Disabilities or Neurodivergences

Text: Aces with Disabilities or Neurodivergence We, too, are the face of asexuality. - Aley O'Mara My asexuality and my chronic illness make me feel doubly invisible or worse—they make me feel like a fraud sometimes. - Ally Ravago I often feel guilty that I proving peoples biases correct by being a disabled person that doesn't desire sex. Both my disability and asexuality lead people to believe that I and other members of both communities are childlike. - Sarah Picture: A rainbow infinity symbol with hands reaching towards each other at the ends
Text: Aces with Disabilities or Neurodivergence I wish more ace people took into consideration the experiences of disabled and neurodivergent people in general in conversations regarding asexuality - Ashlee C. I wish ace and allo people knew that we need more than validation and positivity posts on social media. - Nova We're all fighting our personal battles. It's not always obvious to an outside observer whether someone is in pain, physical or mental. - Camilla Picture: Someone with a cane and dark glasses and one fist raised, with a purple shirt and black pants

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

Asexual people who have disabilities or neurodivergences are often overlooked or ignored, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

Continue reading “Ace Week 2021 – Aces with Disabilities or Neurodivergences”
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Ace Week 2021 – Older Aces

Text: Older Aces I feel like my very existence can sometimes help shut down exclu's and haters. If I see a validity fight in progress on Twitter, I can just step in and say, "I'm a 51-yr-old, never-partnered virgin. Care to argue with me whether asexuality exists?" - Camilla There's a Big Ace Future out there for all of us. - Cody So many mainstream articles paint asexuality as a thing exclusive to White women in their 20s, and because of that I feel like it's easier to write off the existence of older aces. - Bob O'Boyle Picture: A person wearing a purple shirt with white hair and a goatee
Text: Older Aces I grew up in a time when it was not safe to be LBGTQ so when I wear the rainbow I have a tendency to watch my back. - Joshua Godfrey I grew up asexual in a vacuum. There was no internet to influence or guide me. I just went my own way because it was all I knew how to do. - Camilla I see my age as a bonus. I get to assume a mentor role, an educator role. And that suits me. I get to be what I didn't have when I was young. - Cody Picture: A person with a purple shirt and long grey hair

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

Older asexual people are often invisible and many don’t even realize they exist, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

Continue reading “Ace Week 2021 – Older Aces”
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Ace Week 2021 – Ace Men

Text: Ace Men I have never had any ace question my ace-ness but I feel like as a man they do doubt me and are just being kind. - Joshua Godfrey I feel like we need more discussion on the attitudes towards sex that get ingrained into people socialised as men from a young age. It is a difficult thing to break yourself of, and we need compassion towards that. - David Ace men aren't broken men. Period. - Cody Picture: Three masculine appearing people wearing ace colors
Text: Ace Men Men are expected to be actively sexual, and my asexuality defies that assumption. - Daniel I [...] find it harder to be open about my asexuality to men then I do to women, as I have experienced more aggressive dismissals, rejections and misunderstandings from male spaces than I have from female and non-binary spaces. - Elliot Simpson [I]f you do not perform to the standard set forth for men, then you will be ostracized for it -Bob O'Boyle Picture: The symbol of Mars

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

Asexual men and masculine-aligned people are a minority in our community, and their existence is often doubted, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

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Ace Week 2021 – Aces of Ethnic and Racial Minorities

Text: "Ace People of Color If aces of color seem hard to find, it’s because you’re either not looking or we have noticed your racism and intentionally do not want to be found by you. - Maximus Racism, colorism, and ableism are common in queer spaces generally so I often find myself feeling incredibly anxious and nervous to join or seek out ace communities. - Jesi We’re here to stay and we will keep being loud. We will pave the way and shield other BIPOC aces. - Mik" Picture: Three people with different skin tones wearing ace outfits
Text: "Ace People of Color Share my and fellow BIPOC Ace folk activist content, tip us for our labor, listen to us. - Marshall [Non-Black asexuals'] asexuality does not absolve them of their complicity in the fetishization and dehumanization of Black people. - Sherronda J Brown We have different experiences and struggles depending on our race and culture and that our stories need to be heard. We need to be represented not just as aces, but as BIPOC aces. - Ally Ravago" Picture: A hand waving an ace flag

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

Asexual people of color are too often left out of conversations and representation of our community, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

Continue reading “Ace Week 2021 – Aces of Ethnic and Racial Minorities”