Community Highlights – The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project

February 21, 2022February 21, 2022

ASAW 2022 – Aro Men

We continue our series of Aspec Voices for Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week. Once again, we are focusing on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the aro community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream alloromantic people talking about orientations and even hidden within aro communities.

Aromantic men and masculine-aligned people are a minority in our community, and their existence is often doubted, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. They face different and specific struggles that need to be heard. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

February 20, 2022February 21, 2022

ASAW 2022 – Aros of Ethnic and Racial Minorities

Aromantic people of color are too often left out of conversations and representation of our community, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

December 25, 2021December 25, 2021

Aro-Spectrum Awareness Week Proclamation – 2022

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week begins on February 20th, 2022, but the work for it begins now! In 2021, for the first time, six places in the United States recognized ASAW: DC, Colorado, Michigan, Washington, Virginia, and Minnesota!

We can keep this momentum going – the process for requesting your state to recognize ASAW is fairly simple, and we at TAAAP are here to make it even easier, including a template for submission as well as details on how to submit in every state in the links at the bottom of this page. Submitting a proclamation request to your governor or mayor is a 5 step process:

October 30, 2021February 2, 2022

Ace Week 2021 – Demi and Gray Aces

Text: Demi and Gray Aces

While the asexual community at large publicly embraces the idea of the asexual spectrum, this is not always supported by individuals and organizations in a way that is inclusive. - Elle Rose

I wish more allos knew that we're still not allo, even if we do sometimes experience attraction. Our experience with attraction is still different in many ways than the allo experience. - Ashlee C

[T]o myself, I’m simply me: somewhere in the liminal space between “sexual” and “Asexual”. Not knowing where I fit in, but at least, finally honest with myself. -Justin

Picture: Graysexual flag

Text: Demi and Gray Aces

I wish Allo people knew that our orientation isn’t something to debate or argue about because no one knows how another person feels and it’s not their place to tell you how things work in your life. Just listen and be considerate. - Kimberly Butler

We’re as ace as you. We’re just experiencing it differently. We also belong here. - Elle Rose

[The ace community] needs to stop clinging to the notion that asexuality is a clean, easily-defined binary of sexual attraction vs. no sexual attraction. - Justin

Picture: Demisexual flag

The theme of Ace Week 2021 is “Beyond Awareness” so we wanted to focus on the struggles and issues of specific parts of the ace community – people who are often overlooked by mainstream allosexual people talking about asexuality and even hidden within ace communities.

Asexuality is often seen as a complete absence of sexual attraction, but it is a full spectrum; people in the gray area of the spectrum often go unheard, and we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

October 29, 2021February 2, 2022

Ace Week 2021 – Religious Aces

Text: Religious Aces

It often feels like being caught in the middle. [...] In the past, I have had to keep things separate because neither side wants or understands the whole, real me. - Jenna DeWitt

I practice solitary witchcraft, and in doing so I have full control of my own magics and whatnot. That did help me reclaim my sexuality as well! - Casper

[W]e aren’t asexual because we’re religious, or vice versa. It also doesn’t make me a better Christian just because I’m asexual. - Lari

Picture: A purple silhouette of someone kneeling in prayer or contemplation

Text: Religious Aces

I feel a great deal of solidarity with other queer people of faith, because of the long-held perception that queerness and religious belief are usually mutually exclusive. - Justin

I wish aces knew religious does not always mean aggressively dogmatic. - Joshua Godfrey

It took me so long to even wonder if I was asexual because I was good at being chaste! I owe a lot of friends my apologies for thinking they were just bad at being Christian. - Aley O'Mara

Picture: A book open with text

Religious asexual people exist, but are not usually heard from or seen, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

October 29, 2021February 2, 2022

Ace Week 2021 – Aces and Parenting

Text: Aces and Parenting

It's stressful sometimes, because it's just me, and I always think about how it's always going to be just me and how that will affect my kid. -Ryder

I wish aces and allosexual people alike wouldn't assume all aces are childfree, which sometimes seems to happen in certain ace spaces and also in society generally. - Emily Karp

Our parenthood is also a portion of who we are, and one part of us does not negate the other. - Kelly

Picture: A purple silhouette of an adult carrying one child and holding the hand of another

Text: Aces and Parenting

So many aces raise children, co-parent, and are caregivers in different capacities…build community to learn from and with one another. - Jesi

We are valid, we are moms and dads just like the rest of you. -Ashley

I get “are you really ace because you have a kid” as often as I get “are you really biromantic because you married a man.” My truth doesn’t change. - Kelly

Picture: A purple silhouette of two adults holding hands over two children

Asexual people who have children or want them aren’t heard from often, and many don’t have the resources or representation they deserve, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

October 28, 2021February 2, 2022

Ace Week 2021 – Aces and Sex or Kink

Text: Aces and Sex or Kink

It stalled me identifying as ace because I have a kink. To this day, allos tell me I cannot be ace if I have a kink. It's infuriating. Who left them in charge of the gate? -Joshua Godfrey

KINK IS NOT INHERENTLY SEXUAL. [...] The two can overlap - and in some forms of play explicitly do - but MUCH more often than not they do not, NOR DO THEY NEED TO. - Bob O'Boyle

There are so many ways to be asexual, and gatekeeping and enforcing rigid definitions only harms the community. - Aley O'Mara

Picture: The BDSM flag

Text: Aces and Sex or Kink

Having a high libido was baffling to me for a long time because I confused sexual need with sexual attraction, so it took me a long time to realize they were separate things & sort them out. - Ashlee C.

[Kink] made it hard for me to accept my own aceness, but now I think they are happily hand-in-hand! - Casper

The biggest thing is that Aces can enjoy sex and kink and still be ace. It doesn’t make anyone less valid. Sexual arousal doesn’t equal sexual attraction. - Mik

Picture: An unmade purple bed with a pair of gray leggings hanging off

Asexuality is often seen as incompatible with being kinky or wanting sex, and those aces who are kinky or sex favorable may feel out of place, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

Content warning: This article contains some discussion of and description of kinks, though no description of explicit sexual activity.

October 28, 2021February 2, 2022

Ace Week 2021 – Aces and Romance

Text: Aces and Romance

I realized that my love is still valid and beautiful, even if it seems different from what people understand or experience. -Casper

Since finding out that I’m ace, our relationship and communication is definitely better. - Anonymous

I wish people understood that aces who date, like a number of people with other LGBTQ+ identities, often have a delayed experience with dating and sometimes are going through their first dating experiences in their late twenties or thirties or even older. - Emily Karp

Picture: Two purple hearts

Text: Aces and Romance

I wish that more ace people understood that I (and others) can both be at peace with their asexuality and still desire more for myself in a romantic relationship. - Sarah

Finding more aces has made me feel valid in the way I approach relationships. Polyamory works well for me and plenty of other aces I know. - Mik

I wish allos knew that there are people who want romantic relationships without the sexual part. - Eljay

Picture: Three wedding bands interlinked

There are many asexual people who have or want romantic relationships, but those relationships are often seen as doomed, and asexuality is sometimes seen as impossible to reconcile with romance. We wanted to highlight the voices of aces who are in or want to be in romantic relationships. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

October 27, 2021February 2, 2022

Ace Week 2021 – Aces with Disabilities or Neurodivergences

Text: Aces with Disabilities or Neurodivergence

We, too, are the face of asexuality. - Aley O'Mara

My asexuality and my chronic illness make me feel doubly invisible or worse—they make me feel like a fraud sometimes. - Ally Ravago

I often feel guilty that I proving peoples biases correct by being a disabled person that doesn't desire sex. Both my disability and asexuality lead people to believe that I and other members of both communities are childlike. - Sarah

Picture: A rainbow infinity symbol with hands reaching towards each other at the ends

Text: Aces with Disabilities or Neurodivergence

I wish more ace people took into consideration the experiences of disabled and neurodivergent people in general in conversations regarding asexuality - Ashlee C.

I wish ace and allo people knew that we need more than validation and positivity posts on social media. - Nova

We're all fighting our personal battles. It's not always obvious to an outside observer whether someone is in pain, physical or mental. - Camilla

Picture: Someone with a cane and dark glasses and one fist raised, with a purple shirt and black pants

Asexual people who have disabilities or neurodivergences are often overlooked or ignored, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.

October 26, 2021February 2, 2022

Ace Week 2021 – Older Aces

Text: Older Aces

I feel like my very existence can sometimes help shut down exclu's and haters. If I see a validity fight in progress on Twitter, I can just step in and say, "I'm a 51-yr-old, never-partnered virgin. Care to argue with me whether asexuality exists?" - Camilla

There's a Big Ace Future out there for all of us. - Cody

So many mainstream articles paint asexuality as a thing exclusive to White women in their 20s, and because of that I feel like it's easier to write off the existence of older aces. - Bob O'Boyle

Picture: A person wearing a purple shirt with white hair and a goatee

Text: Older Aces

I grew up in a time when it was not safe to be LBGTQ so when I wear the rainbow I have a tendency to watch my back. - Joshua Godfrey

I grew up asexual in a vacuum. There was no internet to influence or guide me. I just went my own way because it was all I knew how to do. - Camilla

I see my age as a bonus. I get to assume a mentor role, an educator role. And that suits me. I get to be what I didn't have when I was young. - Cody

Picture: A person with a purple shirt and long grey hair

Older asexual people are often invisible and many don’t even realize they exist, so we wanted to highlight some of their voices. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.