Aromantic communities tend to include a high proportion of young people, and more and more people are discovering aromanticism at earlier ages. While it is wonderful that there is increased education allowing people to find community when they are young, it also means that we need to be aware of the specific experiences, joys, challenges, and struggles faced by aro young people.
In honor of the International Day of Youth, August 12, we are highlighting the experiences of aro people under the age of 20. In order to protect their identities and prevent online harassment, we have not included any social media handles. Thank you to all who volunteered their time and shared their experiences.
Introductions
Alyssa – I’m aroace and I’m 15
Ana – aroace cisgender girl, 18
Aquarius – aromantic, upper teens
August – 18, loveless aroallo
Emma – I use they/them pronouns, I’m aroace, and I’m 16 years old.
Eugénie – I identify as aro and ace and I’m currently 16
Govya or Rey, and my aspec identities are aromantic and asexual. My age is 16.
Hazel – demiromantic/biromantic, asexual, 18
Julia – aroace, 19
LB – I‘m 18 and aroace.
Lizzie – My aspec identities Aromantic & Asexual, 14
Maple, 17 – And Aromantic and Asexual
Mason – Aromantic and Agender Bisexual, 19
Monika – Aro identities: loveless aro, romance repulsed. Ace identities: aceflux Age:16
Olivia, and I am 18 – I identify as aro and ace
Raine – I’d like for you to refer to me by Rae or Raine. I’m Aromantic and Asexual and I’m 16
How does your age intersect with your orientation?
Alyssa: Because I’m fifteen, I don’t have as much life experience or dating experience as an adult might have, and many of my peers have never been on a date, either (often linked with romantic attraction, not to say aros can’t date!). This contributes to some of my uncertainty about whether I will, in fact, experience romantic attraction sometime in the future. For now, though, the aromantic label is useful for me.
Ana: Most of my peers are already dating or starting to date so that gave me much strength and curiosity to explore what I do not want for myself and I came up to the conclusion I don’t want a romantic partner. To be honest I find it easier to accept my romantic orientation than sexual one.
Aquarius: I don’t think it really intersects, at least on the level I experience it, but it definitely feels like other people have more expectations for me because I’m young and therefore ‘ripe for romance.’
August: My age influences the way I view myself and my future; there is a lot less available visibility of older aromantics and I can sometimes feel like I’m expected to allow my orientation to fade and somehow become something else.
Emma: I think my age really impacted my ability to find the words to describe my experiences, the way I figured out my identity, and how I am able to share it now. I first began to figure out my aro identity when I was around 14 and came across aro communities online, where I learned about our range of identities and labels. Growing up in this time and in the accepting spaces I am so privileged to have, and figuring out my identity young, has allowed me to find more community than I likely would have otherwise, and has helped me to really accept my own identity.
Eugénie: It make it looks less normal, people are often like ” you’re too young to know”
Govya: Both my age and orientation are tied together because on one hand, allo people find their orientations because they feel a pull towards the people they are attracted to. Growing up aro feels strange because there is no pull, and there’s always the looming question of whether you’re just a late bloomer.
Julia: I didn’t use the aromantic label for a long time. I didn’t mainly because my education of sexual orientations didn’t touch on the difference between sexual and romantic attraction, but also because when I came out as ace, a lot of people said to me “I think you mean aromantic.” Because according to these people I was too young to know anything about my sexual identity, so I must be referring to my romantic one. And because I didn’t know the difference and didn’t know I could be both, I saw aromanticism as a box people were putting me in to separate me from my true identity. But after some time, I’ve come to learn that it is possible to be both, and now I love both of my labels equally.
LB: I‘m 18 and aroace. I do not want any children, partly because I‘m aroace and I also do not want a romantic or sexual relationship, but whenever the topic of my decision to be childfree comes up, most people just say „you‘ll change your mind later on“ „i thought the same when i was your age“, which is really invalidating and makes me not feel heard.
Lizzie: It’s a bit isolating when most ppl my age have crushes and I can’t relate to that.
Maple: It doesn’t have any affect for me personally.
Mason: Being a younger aromantic, I often found the cliché “when you’ll get older you’ll fall in love” to be accurate as I can safely say I haven’t experienced real romantic attraction and assumed it would come later in life. In secondary (middle) school and teenage years, when all my peers got into relationships I also followed them and got into what I assumed was a regular relationship, without realising I didn’t have romantic attraction to those I was in a relationship with – only following what I assumed was the norm whereas others genuinely were romantically involved with their partners I was not. Being young and aromantic has led to much confusion with the promise it’ll change when I get older when in fact that is not true.
Olivia: I’m quickly approaching the age where people are surprised I still don’t want a partner, and those who’ve said I’ll “grow out of it” will soon come to realize I won’t.
Raine: It doesn’t intersect with my orientation in any way
How is your experience in aro communities impacted by your age?
Alyssa: I’m part of a teen aspec group on Discord, which has helped me immensely with my aromantic journey. In my experience, aromantic communities in general are more geared towards young people, so I feel very comfortable in them.
Ana: I must admit that aspec community online is much more accepting toward my romantic orientation than my sexual.
Aquarius: Almost everyone I’ve talked to in the aro community has been my age or roughly around my age. To a certain extent that’s nice, but it means there’s a dearth in the variety of aro experiences, and sometimes it sounds like everyone’s repeating the same ideas when it comes to things like what to think of amatonormativity. It’s nice to have peers my age, but at the same time it almost feels like an echo chamber of sorts. It’s nice to meet aros that are a good bit older than me.
Emma: In my generation, I have found that there is a lot more awareness surrounding aro identities, making it easier for me to find other aro people. In general, at least in the more progressive communities I am privileged to live in, there seems to be more openness to non-amatonormative ideas within my age group as well. This sometimes includes improving (although nowhere-near-perfect) acceptance of polyamory, queer platonic relationships, and, increasingly often, aro-spec identities. Our community is still in our beginnings in many ways, and I am fortunate that my age has allowed me to find some aro people in my life.
The smaller numbers of visible, older aro people are, to me, a reminder of the struggles our community has had and still has today. My hope for the future is greater representation of and respect for aros of all ages.
Eugénie: Not really impacted
Govya: I feel pretty comfortable in aro communities despite my age because there are so many people around the same age as me who have built great aro safe spaces online. Being able to relate to someone not only agewise, but identity wise is amazing.
Lizzie: My experience in aro communities started a couple years ago and when I was younger it was hard to find aro ppl my age. Right now it’s a lot easier but still many ppl are older than me.
Maple: I don’t interact with other Aro people much
Mason: My experience in aro communities is very limited as I only figured out my identity in 2021, yet I have been able to connect with several people online through an aspec community to share mutual experiences, even now knowing someone in real life through this community. At university I have met aromantic and asexual people alike, which has been able to bridge all of our experiences. But, during secondary school and sixth form I had not met other aspec people as the range of people I had met was still limited to just classmates, limiting my ability to share my thoughts and experiences only to allosexual/alloromantic people.
Olivia: I think young aros like me have a much more accessible community since we’re more likely to find support groups online. We also have more access to information about different identities, which I think is why there are more young aros in these communities than older ones—older aros didn’t have access to this stuff when they were our age.
Raine: I’ve only met other aromantic people online. I have only found others that are in their late 20’s and up but they have been very supportive and friendly.
How is your experience with other people your age impacted by your orientation?
Alyssa: I’ve talked with my closest (alloromantic, similar age) friends about my being aromantic, and they’re all accepting for the most part. I’ve noticed that it’s sometimes difficult for people to believe that my experiences as an aro are valid and that aromanticism exists. Additionally, my friends often have conversations that I can’t relate to because of my aromanticism, but I’ve always enjoyed hearing about others’ crushes and romance drama.
Ana: Ugh, boys my age are pretty annoying when it comes to not wanting to date them. Assuming that someone who does not want to date someone has some kind of issue is frustrating at times. But what I find explicitly rude when I reject someone is them linking my physical appearance to my romantic decisions. To clear things up, I am an overweight girl and that is important here because when I state that I am not interested in dating them, I get comments like ” No one will ever want to date you, look how fat you are ‘. Sometimes I get little less invasive statements, like an assumption that I am “not putting myself out there” because I fear rejection. Hey boys, first of all, you need to understand that girls werent born for you in any way – we are not responsible to please you, return your romantic/sexual interests neither to be passive trophies you “win” after a battle.Who are you battling with even, may I ask ?Not me, definitely. And second, I do not fear rejection because guess what, my romance-ambivalent aromanticism makes me reject people most of my time. I own my no, my right not to pursue anything romantic with someone and I would respect that if I was told it in return.
Aquarius: It’s alienating. Especially in high school, even with the stricter focus on academics where I grew up, it felt like all everyone was talking about was romance and dating and romcoms; all things romantic, something I didn’t understand and was, and still am, wholly uninterested in. It can close off a lot of conversation avenues when I’m talking to someone new, and also prevents me from joining some social gatherings because they’re built around romance and dating. Supposedly college is a great time to network with people, but assuming I’m into romance has been detrimental on that front. Not that my aromanticism is bad, of course, it’s just frustrating that this assumption is so broadly applied, and I’m also usually the only aromantic person in the room, so I would have to explain lots of things if I were to ask for non-romance focused events. I simply don’t have the energy for that.
August: I feel more out of place with other young people. I feel a lot of people my age are actively seeking romantic relationships or often fawning over others, and I feel isolated due to not being interested in anyone romantically.
Emma: I have been fortunate to not have had any negative impact in my experiences with other people my age following sharing my aro identity with them, and am so lucky to be surrounded by many people my age who are very accepting. I have, however, experienced some of the feelings that came with being young and having only a partial understanding that there was something different about the way I experience my orientation from the majority of my peers. Additionally, I do think that I somewhat internalized the highly prevalent amatonormative idea that friendships and other relationships are somehow less valuable than romantic relationships (which I personally have no interest in), which definitely was hard while I was trying to figure out my identity, and may have had an impact on how I interact with others my age.
Eugénie: Some seem to avoid me but I have understanding friends so it’s okay
Govya: People around my age have impacted my orientation a lot. I sometimes feel out of place with people my age because they all relate to the fact of having a crush- no matter the gender- while I don’t even understand what that’s supposed to feel like. I was shocked when people said that they already had their first kiss; like, what?
LB: I can‘t really relate to others when they talk about romance which is fine, because that‘s not all they talk about.
Lizzie: Many of my friends right now are experiencing crushes some are even in relationships and it’s weird for me as I don’t relate to that. Some ppl don’t believe me when I say I don’t have a crush which is frustrating.
Maple: I get along great with others just some people don’t understand me
Mason: The vast majority of people my age have never heard of aromanticism, let alone understand it. Therefore my orientation has at times led me to think I am different compared to others my age as they all feel romantic attraction and I do not. In terms of other relationships, such as platonic and sexual, it has meant that others feel differently about me when they realise I may not reciprocate romantic feelings, for example a friend of mine months ago, who is the same age as me, admitted romantic feelings of me to a mutual friend of ours who then told me, so I had to say how I wouldn’t ever reciprocate the feelings she had, but that I was appreciative of how she felt about me- we continued on as friends.
Monika: I feel a bit isolated from my allo friends. It’s really hard for me to understand their crushes and desires to be in romantic relationships. Also the fact that they think that romantic relationships are more valuable than platonic relationships is really weird to me
Olivia: I often feel isolated from my peers. Even after I figured out I was aro, I still felt like there was something that kept me from truly understanding those around me.
Raine: I have only come out to a few people my age and they have been distant or have been avoiding me but some have been accepting.
Do you want to share any other identities that may intersect with or impact the way that your age intersects with your orientation? (EG: gender, racial identity, other queer identity, ability, etc)
Alyssa: I’m Asian, so culturally, I’ve been encouraged to focus on my studies instead of having a significant other at this age. Because of this, it’s not odd to my family that I’m not preoccupied with finding a date (often linked with romantic attraction, not to say aros can’t date!).
Ana: This may have to do with my queerplatonism. I find it much easier to accept my romantic orientation because I have strong platonic tendencies. I mean I sometimes get into the midding when I see my friends holding hands – I can and do get genuinely happy seeing other people around me having successful romantic relationships . I do not fear lacking anything because I know that I am capable of having queerplatonic and intellectual intimacy with others in my life. I prescribe my sense of belonging to a strong sense of platonic community. But when it comes to asexuality, oh man, how I do struggle feeling broken and not enough in some way. ..
Aquarius: Being autistic (and an ADHDer) impacts how I perceive a lot of things, so it definitely influences my aromanticism. I don’t think it caused my being aro, but I don’t think I could separate being aro from being autistic. And to that end, on some level being autistic feels like it sets me back a few years or so when it comes to social skills? Not really age wise, I suppose, but it can add to the feeling of alienation and loneliness I already feel from being aromantic in a romance-obsessed world.
August: Alongside being aro, I’m bi and trans. I feel like my queer and trans identities are more likely to be dismissed because of my age. I’m expected to grow out of this or it’s something that I’m doing as a trend rather than something to be taken seriously.
Emma: As an afab person, for as long as I can remember, media representations have shown me exactly what gender roles we are expected to fulfill. Our society teaches us that romantic love and relationships should be our ultimate goal in life; the happily ever after dream. I look at these expectations from both a feminist/gender equality perspective, and from the perspective of dismantling amatonormativity/allonormativity/heternormativity.
From media depictions, to questions of “Do you have a boyfriend yet?”, to my knowledge of how some people in my life expect the course of my life to go (hint: this includes marriage), I am constantly taught that these gender expectations go against what I want in my life and represent lack a respect for me and other afab people knowing what we want, and completely forget or disregard the possibility of my aro orientation. I know that for young people with similar identities to me, our gender, sex assigned at birth, and age all mean that we are taken less seriously when we say that we know that we want is different from what societal norms suggest we should want.
I do think that figuring out my aro orientation while I am young has impacted the way I perceive these gender expectations, and how I navigate them. Understanding my identity while developing my perspective has allowed me to look at gender roles in a way that shows me even more reasons for the importance of deconstructing these gender expectations, and has allowed me to begin to understand what it is that I truly want from my life, as opposed to what I have been taught I should want.
Eugénie: Honestly, as an autistic person, I don’t really have a strong grasp of the concept of genders and romantic attraction
Govya: My race impacts my orientation a lot more than my gender because as a South Asian, marriage is seen as almost necessary in order to be happy. I still remember when I ‘somewhat’ came out to my mother. I remember telling her about what aromantic is, and I just said that I wasn’t that interested in marriage or relationships in general. She looked horrified, and said that everyone was looking forward to my wedding, and how I would be hurting all my family members and disappointing them if I didn’t get married and have children. I really hope that someday the Indian community as a whole will stop looking at a happy life in such a one-sided angle, and truly understand the diversity of who we all are.
LB: I‘m also asexual and sex-averse which means that I‘m also not very comfortable when my friends talk about their sex-life. Luckily they don‘t mind though because I have awesome friends.
Mason: As an allosexual (bisexual) aromantic, I had often felt like in order to be sexually attracted to someone, you must first feel romantically attracted to them. Because of this, I felt that love and attraction was only the need to be with someone rather than loving who they were. This had lead to many of my previous relationships confusing and upsetting as I did not know how to differentiate sexual attraction and romantic attraction.
Olivia: I used to wonder why I felt uncomfortable if I was ever called “girlfriend” or “boyfriend.” Turns out it’s because I’m non-binary AND aromantic.
Raine: I am non binary too and if mental health can impact than there are a few there too; depression, possibly autism or adhd too.
Do you find that people react a certain way when you tell them that you are aro, and do you think this reaction would be different if you were older?
Alyssa: I haven’t come out to any adults. I fear that if I did, my aromanticism would be dismissed due to my age. I don’t think my peers believe my age has any impact on whether I identify as aro or not.
Ana: Elders always think it is temporary and that it will pass and I do not pay much attention to it because it is not (unlike asexuality ) pathologized and medicalised. I don’t care about their upcoming reactions, I will anyway make jokes about them.
Aquarius: It’s specifically because I know many people don’t understand aromanticism and a lack of interest or desire for romance that I rarely come out to people, at least irl. The only people I’ve really ‘come out to’ are online folks, and generally they’re already some other blend of queer, if not aro themselves, so it makes things a lot easier. The only person who has really taken my aromantic identity in stride is my therapist, and I should hope they do, because they’re a therapist.
I doubt it’d be better if I were older. In fact I suspect it’s worse, with the general rhetoric shifting from ‘you’re young and inexperienced and you’ll find love eventually’ to ‘you’ve wasted your life and you’re going to die sad and alone.’ Which speaks to the devaluing of non-romantic relationships, obviously, and the assumption that being unpartnered is a sad existence. It just gets worse as you get older, I think.
August: I have felt that adults in my life view my aromanticism as a phase than a true piece of my identity. To a degree, my alloromantic peers view my aromanticism as a choice to avoid dating rather than an identity.
Eugénie: Yes, of course yes, I know that people sometimes think that I can’t be aro ’cause I’ m too young and I don’t know much about life
Govya: I definitely find a specific reaction. My sister was extremely skeptical, and tried to talk me out of it multiple times. She believes that a relationship is one of the key milestones to a happy life, and whenever I tell her about not having crushes, she dismisses it. I believe that the reaction would be slightly different if I was older; but instead of dismissal it would be pity. However, all of my friends are extremely supportive, and I don’t know what I would do without them. I’m so thankful that they are in my life, and I love all of them so much!
Julia: Mostly I’ve found people just can’t imagine it. And that’s totally fine, it’s like how I can’t imagine feeling romantic attraction. I don’t think it would be much different if I was older, romance is so commercialized and is such a huge part of most people’s lives that a lack of it will always seem foreign to those who don’t bother to understand. I did one time try to explain that someone can be aromantic without being asexual, and was told that “that sounds like a sociopath.” So. Y’know. We’ve got a long way to go. I think education and time is probably gonna be the best solution to this mentality going forward.
LB: Luckily the people I‘ve told just accepted that I‘m aromantic which is why I can‘t say if they had reacted differently if I was older.
Lizzie: Many people think that when I’ll be older ‘ I will start feeling love ‘ and I think maybe if I were older they would believe me.
Olivia: Yes to both! People usually say that I’ll one day “meet the one,” and that I shouldn’t worry so much about it, but I think if I were older, they’d tell me to lower my standards or get dating apps.
Maple: I’ve been told it’s just a phase and that I’ll find the right person someday
Mason: When talking to LGBTQ+ people, when I tell them that I am aromantic, they usually acknowledge it well and ask questions as to what that means to me personally- such as if I am asexual too. When I tell non LGBTQ+ people, it often comes with an inquiry as to what aromanticism is, and I give an explanation about it with asexuality as a reference point. If I was older, I think the reaction would be that it was less of an identity and that I was simply just an adult who has chosen not to settle down, even though that isn’t the case.
Raine: Yes, definitely. It might be different but not necessarily in a good way.
How could aspec communities better support you?
Aquarius: On the front of age, I think we’re good. The community right now feels like it’s built for and by aro folks my age, maybe a little older. Rather, I want more acknowledgement of POC aro experiences, where the expectation of romance can be and often is compounded by a cultural obligation around marriage and parenthood. It generally feels like the aspec community is dominated by white people, and I’ve not often met other aros who are also Chinese. Though perhaps this is better fit for another topic; again, on the basis of age, I think we’re good. We should really be thinking of ways to better support older aros.
August: I feel as though there’s a large divide between spaces for aspec youth and spaces for aspec adults. Having a common space could allow younger aspecs to view a living future and older aspecs to provide insight and community.
Emma: I am very fortunate to have found great support in aspec communities. However, I do think there are changes that could happen in our discourse to become more inclusive. If someone says they are aspec, they are. If their aspec label makes them comfortable or feels right to them, it is, with no exception, “correct”. Identity and attraction exist in a broad spectrum, and are fluid; our labels for our identities will be used by different people in many different ways. This diversity in our community is a good thing that makes us stronger, and there is no need to tell people that they are not a part of our communities.
Similarly, no aspec person should have to justify or “make up for” their orientation by saying, “I don’t feel sexual and/or romantic attraction, but that’s okay because I still feel and/or do x”. We do not have anything to compensate for because our identities in no way make us lacking. This is especially important as this type of discussion often ends up excluding other people within our communities. For example, trying to make ourselves more palatable by saying that we still love our friends, while true for many, can be harmful for aplatonic people (who exist and are wonderful). Another example is in how saying that we still feel empathy can be ableist.
Trying to make our communities more palatable by excluding people will never gain us meaningful acceptance. I believe more discussion surrounding how our communities could be more intersectional and less exclusionist would make our communities a more comfortable space for all aspec people, and dismantle the idea that there is a “right” way to be aspec.
Eugénie: Be more noticeable, it’s sad but we’re almost invisible
Govya: I feel as though the aspec community has been extremely supportive. There are so many resources out there for people who already know their identity, and for people who are questioning as well.
Lizzie: I have no idea. All aro communities I’ve been in were very welcoming and accepting. They were also open to talk about diffrent struggles that aro ppl face.
Maple: Better representation and more voices being heard.
Mason: Personally I do not feel in need of additional support from aspec communities, simply the ability to share experiences and relate to them helps to make my experiences less confusing. Aspec communities need more representation, if they are made to help support aspec people then there needs to be more advocacy and visibility for those that don’t know about them in case they too are aspec but have not realised, similar to how I did not know about aromanticism until right before I figured out I must have been.
Monika: Just include more aro-spec identities and stop suggesting that love is what makes us human.
Olivia: They’ve been supporting me just fine! I think it’s the rest of the LGBTQ+ community that should work on unlearning the aphobia within them.
Raine: The aspec community has actually been very supporting thus far. But if aspec content creators could make more stuff on how to accept yourself while in a very acephobic household.
What do you wish aspec people knew about you or other young aro people?
Ana: Some of us don’t desire romantic relationships because romance is in allonormative society directly linked to sex. Please respect someone’s choice not to be in a relationship.
Aquarius: I think something that isn’t discussed enough is that for some people, the aromantic label is a phase and something to be shed later on, and that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes it is due to being young and not figuring it out yet. It’s definitely not my own experience, but for younger aros who may stop identifying as such when they get older, I hope they know it’s okay to swap labels and experiment.
August: I wish aspec people were more aware of the fact that being aroallo is not a mature identity. Being aroallo is not something reserved for adults and we, as a community, need to support and uplift aroallo young people.
Emma: Aspec people have been some of the most supportive people for me as a young aro person. I want all aspec people to know that their identities are unquestionably valid, and there is no reason they should ever have to justify their identity.
Eugénie: It’s never too young to know
Govya: I wish they knew that I’m so thankful for the amazing online communities that make me feel seen and loved! In a world that constantly pushes ‘forever love,’ it’s amazing to see people like me, and be able to interact with them!
Hazel: I do wish that aromanticism was given more air time. I often feel as though talks of asexuality can leave out the discussion of aromanticism, which is terrible.
The love of being aromantic, the love of being yourself, the love of finding yourself, leaves me feeling more fulfilled than the necessity of a partner does. I am complete this way. Love, if it is something that I feel comfortable seeking, will not fulfill me, but add to what I already am, with my aromanticism and aspec identities wholly attached.
Every part is made from love. No part of me is lacking in any form.
Maple: That we exist and are proud.
Mason: That it is normal to be exclusively aromantic and have previously been in romantic relationships, without debate of “was it actually you being attracted to them” as there are many variables that contribute to aromanticism. Also I wish that other aspec people recognised the distinction between being in a relationship such as a QPR or sexual relationship and being in a romantic relationship, as partnerships are wide and varied and can still happen for other aromantic people.
Raine: Some of us have dated before we figured out our identities and that doesn’t make us less valid.
What do you wish allo people knew about you or other young aro people?
Alyssa: I wish allos knew that yes, it is possible to know if you’re aro at a young age! Claiming a label as a teenager is not harmful to anyone, and if a teen finds identifying as aro helpful, comforting, useful, etc., it doesn’t hurt, especially given that the teen years are often viewed as the peak time for romance to blossom
Ana: We are not obligated to give you explanations why we don’t reciprocate our romantic interests to you. I am not emotionally immature or indecisive, if I don’t want you romantically, that’s it. But yes, you can join me in Sunday’s flower picking if you want haha
Aquarius: We’re not confused or late bloomers or just need encouragement, the whole deal. And we’re definitely not defective for not experiencing romantic attraction. I also wish they’d stop taking our discussions on amatonormativity as a personal attack, particularly when it often comes back to harm them. How aggressively they snap back at us for daring to suggest that they don’t need to have a partner at all times really just goes to show how deeply ingrained in society it is to constantly be engaging in romance. Are they aware that they can just. Y’know. Not bother with it? It’s quite nice, and they should try it.
August: I wish allo people knew that aromanticism, like any other queer identity, is not something to grow out of. For some, they may feel romantic attraction later in life, but that should not be the standard for younger aromantics.
Emma: I want allo people to learn about amatonormativity, and learn how it applies to them too. Amatonormativity includes the ways that society polices all of our relationships and what they should look like. Let’s dismantle this and allow each of us to define what joy and experiencing life to the fullest means to us.
Eugénie: That we exist and it’s not “just a phase” or a “broken heart”
Govya: I wish allo people knew that being aro doesn’t mean that you’re a ‘late bloomer.’ I really hope that in the future, society will change its view on relationships. I hope one day friendships and romantic relationships will be seen as their own individual entities, rather than romantic relationships always being seen as ‘more important.’
LB: We‘re just trying to live our lifes. Just accept that we‘re aromantic, please.
Lizzie: That we will not grow up and ‘start feeling love’ and that we’re not ‘too young to know’
Maple: That we are not simply going through a phase and that we didn’t make a conscious decision to be non-open to romance.
Mason: For us to know who we are; beyond well known LGBT terms there deserves to be representation for more niche identities such as aromanticism and asexuality. Also, that aspec people are not confused, nor broken, nor avoiding relationships for any reason besides lack of attraction. It should be known by all that saying no to a life of sex and/or romance is completely understandable and not a bad thing.
Monika: I wish people would start noticing aros that are loveless or aros that don’t want to be in a romantic/queerplatonic relationships. It really sucks when people try to make aros look more “human” to allos by saying “oh but aro people can still fall in love”. It is not only excluding loveless/romance repulsed aros but also reinforces the stereotype that love is what make us human.
Olivia: There’s nothing wrong with us! Even if you don’t understand our orientations, we are still deserving of respect.
Raine: I might be young but that doesn’t make any part of my identity invalid and it is not a choice I made due to trauma.